Most family law cases settle using an ADR process (Alternative Dispute Resolution). The right process depends on your comfort level, your spouse’s communication style, and the issues in your case. If you cannot speak up safely or clearly, you likely need a more supported option like Mediation with counsel or Collaborative Divorce. The goal is to choose a process that gives you a real voice and a strong path to resolution.
Do Most Cases Actually Settle in ADR?
In real life, yes, most cases that use ADR do settle. It may take more than one session, but steady participation tends to lead to resolution.
You should not expect everything to be resolved in a single one- to two-hour meeting. That expectation can lead to frustration. Progress in ADR usually happens over time, with each session building on the last.
When you stay engaged, whether through Mediation, Collaborative Divorce, or lawyer-assisted meetings, you increase the likelihood of reaching agreement. ADR gives you the chance to stay out of court, move forward more quickly, and keep decision-making in your hands rather than turning it over to a judge. Courts still play an important role, but for many families, the real work happens in ADR.
Matching the Process to You and Your Situation
There is no universal “best” ADR option. The right fit depends on you, your spouse, and the issues you need to resolve.
Start by thinking about your own needs. Are you comfortable speaking directly with your spouse, or do you need more structure? Do you feel confident negotiating, or would support help you stay focused and clear?
Next, consider your spouse. If your communication style differs, that gap matters. You may prefer a flexible setting, while your spouse may want something more structured. Finding a middle ground can make the process more productive.
You also need to weigh the trade-offs. If you agree to a process your spouse prefers, think about how that affects your ability to speak up. At the same time, consider whether you can shift to another process if the first one is not working. A thoughtful conversation about your priorities, concerns, and risks will guide you toward a better choice.
When a Kitchen-Table Conversation Is Not Enough
It can be tempting to sit down together and try to work everything out informally. In some situations that can work. In others, it can leave you at a disadvantage.
In those situations, you are more likely to benefit from a structured setting. A mediator can guide the conversation and keep things balanced. You may also want your lawyer to be present, whether in Mediation or in a four-way meeting. Collaborative Divorce also provides a supportive environment where you and your spouse work toward resolution with professional guidance.
Questions to Help You Choose
As you consider your options, ask yourself a few practical questions.
- Do you feel safe being in the same room or on a video call with your spouse?
- Can you express your thoughts clearly, or are you likely to shut down?
- Do you want your lawyer present to help you stay grounded and focused?
- Would a neutral professional help keep the conversation productive?
Think about the issues involved. Are they straightforward, or do they require more detailed discussion around parenting, finances, or property?
The Payoff of the Right Fit
When the process fits your needs and your situation, settlement becomes more likely. You can move forward more efficiently, stay involved in decisions, and begin building a healthier path for future communication, especially if you are co-parenting your children.
Contact Miller Boileau Family Law Group
For effective and practical legal advice, call the lawyers at Miller Boileau Family Law Group at 780-482-2888 or contact us here.
FAQs
1. How long does an ADR divorce process usually take?
It varies, but most cases take multiple sessions. Progress builds over time rather than being completed in a single meeting.
2. Do I have to choose one process and stick with it?
No. You can start with Mediation or another option and move to a different process if it is not working for you.
3. Is Mediation always enough on its own?
Not always. If you feel uncomfortable or unable to speak freely, having your lawyer present or using Collaborative Divorce may give you the support you need.
Early in her legal practice, influenced by her late uncle who was a Justice of the Court of Queen’s Bench, Marla Miller, K.C. became a Family Law Mediator. She has been helping families through mediation for over 30 years. In 2001 she, along with Pierre Boileau, K.C. and others, was one of the founding members of the Association of Collaborative Professionals (Edmonton). She has been an active volunteer with that Association ever since.
One of the first Family and Divorce Lawyers in Edmonton to make a commitment to give up litigation as an option, Marla remains passionate about helping her clients settle outside of court by finding agreements that meet their needs and interests. As both a Registered Collaborative Family Lawyer and a Registered Family Mediator, Marla is one of the most experienced family Mediators in Edmonton.