If you are facing the reality of a divorce or relationship breakdown, understanding your options is one of the most important first steps you can take. Litigation, Mediation, and Collaborative Divorce each work very differently and can dramatically affect your stress level, costs, and long-term relationships. The right process for you depends on your family dynamics, communication style, and goals for the future.
When you first begin thinking about separation or divorce, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. Most people do not know what the divorce process looks like, that they have options, or how divorce decisions will be made. One of the biggest misconceptions is that divorce always means going to court. Most divorces settle outside the courtroom. The key is understanding how you want to move through the divorce process. There are three primary divorce options in Alberta: Litigation, Mediation Collaborative Divorce.
1. Litigation: Let the Court Make Decisions for You
Litigation is the traditional court-based divorce process. If you and your spouse cannot agree on parenting, support, or property division, a judge may ultimately have to make those decisions for you.
When you go to court, you give up a certain amount of control. A judge who knows very little about your family ultimately decides what happens next.
There are times that litigation is necessary, especially in situations that involve:
- Family violence
- Serious substance abuse
- Hidden finances
- Completely broken communication
Litigation should be more of a last resort than the first option. It is the most expensive, stressful, and time-consuming option. Going to court also tends to increase fear and conflict because each side is focused on “winning.”
Even if you think that your situation will require the court’s assistance, it’s important to find a lawyer who will do everything possible to keep you out of court and help you to negotiate a settlement first. Court should be the last option you take.
2. Mediation: Finding Common Ground
Mediation is a more cooperative divorce process. Instead of arguing in court, you and your spouse work with a neutral mediator who guides your conversations and problem-solving.
The mediator does not take sides or make decisions for you. Instead, the mediator helps both of you:
- Understand your options
- Improve communication
- Reach workable agreements
Mediation is faster and much less expensive than litigation and it allows you to have more control over the outcome. Mediation works best when you and your spouse are willing to participate honestly and respectfully but can still be an option even where the conflict is high.
3. Collaborative Divorce: A Team-Based Approach
Collaborative Divorce takes cooperation one step further. In this process, both you and your spouse hire collaboratively trained lawyers and commit to staying out of court.
The goal in a Collaborative Divorce is not to “beat” the other person. The goal is to help your family transition into a healthier future.
Collaborative Divorce may include additional divorce professionals, such as:
- Financial neutrals
- Divorce coaches or mental health professionals
- Parenting specialists
It creates a safe, structured environment where you can address not only the legal issues, but also the emotional and practical challenges of separation.
Because everyone is committed to problem-solving rather than fighting, Collaborative Divorce reduces fear and creates more sustainable agreements.
Which Divorce Process Is Right for You?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer. Every family is different.
You should ask yourself:
- Can you and your spouse communicate?
- Do you both want to avoid court?
- Are there safety concerns?
- Do you want more control over the outcome?
The divorce process you choose can shape not only your divorce experience, but also your relationship with your children and your co-parenting relationship with your former spouse.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q1: Is Collaborative Divorce cheaper than litigation?
In most cases, yes. Collaborative Divorce is usually more efficient and less adversarial than going to court.
Q2: Can Mediation work if we disagree on some things?
Absolutely. Most couples entering the divorce process have disagreements. The goal in Mediation is to work through them productively.
Q3: What if the collaborative process fails?
If collaboration breaks down, both lawyers must withdraw, and you will need new litigation counsel if you decide to go to court. However, over 90% of collaborative cases reach a successful conclusion.
Early in her legal practice, influenced by her late uncle who was a Justice of the Court of Queen’s Bench, Marla Miller, K.C. became a Family Law Mediator. She has been helping families through mediation for over 30 years. In 2001 she, along with Pierre Boileau, K.C. and others, was one of the founding members of the Association of Collaborative Professionals (Edmonton). She has been an active volunteer with that Association ever since.
One of the first Family and Divorce Lawyers in Edmonton to make a commitment to give up litigation as an option, Marla remains passionate about helping her clients settle outside of court by finding agreements that meet their needs and interests. As both a Registered Collaborative Family Lawyer and a Registered Family Mediator, Marla is one of the most experienced family Mediators in Edmonton.