Many people who have made the decision to end their marriage often do not know the next steps they need to take. They believe they must each individually retain lawyers, and get all of their legal paperwork in order. However, the recommendation is for couples to hire a mediator, who can help them come up with what they would like to get out of the process in a respectful manner. Hiring a mediator can help ensure both sides are listened to, and agree upon what they need to get out of the divorce ahead of time.
Because a mediator is a completely neutral, third-party, their goal is to work with both sides and help them negotiate legal issues. While it is not necessary for people to have hired lawyers prior to mediation, they will eventually need to get a lawyer, before the end of the process. The reason why, is because a lawyer will need to ensure each party is fully aware of what they have agreed to, as well as their both fully aware of all of the various options they could have chosen, other than what was agreed to during mediation. Since each party’s individual lawyer is going to need to understand what is been agreed to prior to the completion of mediation, it is important that once the mediation process has been started, start looking for a lawyer to help complete the process.
During the process of hiring a mediator, that the mediator will ensure they have a conversation with each party separately prior to the first appointment. The reason for this, is to ensure that both parties understand what mediation is, and that they are both comfortable to proceed with the appointment. It is also important that the mediator helps prepare each party for what they need to bring to the initial meeting. While many people assume they have to have their legal paperwork in order prior to the first mediation session, that is not true. Part of the mediation process is going to be help both parties figure out what is required for their specific case, and then coming to an agreement on who is going to provide that information. This can help both parties establish trust and transparency.
Even though people do not need to prepare their legal paperwork prior to the first mediation session, people should think prior to their first meeting about what they want to get out of the mediation. This does not necessarily mean thinking about what financial gains they are going to get, but rather people should think about their core interests, and what their values and fears are. If they have this written down and understood prior to mediation, the whole process can become much clearer.
People should think about mediation as a way to ensure they are getting what they need out of the marriage that is ending. And while it is never an easy process to go through, hiring a mediator can help the process be smooth, and respectful for everybody. The ultimate goal is to ensure everyone has what they need to go their own separate ways.
This article was prepared for Miller Boileau by Inspired Method
It may be very overwhelming for a lot of people to think about ending their marriage. However, the process does not have to be as scary as they think, if they hire a mediator, and prepare ahead of time. While many people believe that they need to have a lawyer prior to starting mediation, this is not necessarily true. While many people do have lawyers prior to this process, as long as people ensure they have a lawyer before the end, they can begin this step at any time.
A mediator is a completely neutral, third party person, who does not give legal advice. What they do, is work with both sides in order to help them negotiate legal issues. They will ensure both parties completely understand what to each person wants, and tells each parties what the legal process is. They can help ensure both parties come to an agreement with each other. However, because they are not able to give advice to either party, it is important that before they complete the agreement, that each party consults with their own lawyer to ensure they understand what has been agreed to, and that they understand all of the other options that they had.
When clients are preparing for mediation, but it is very helpful for them to have a notebook, so that any time they think of something they would like to bring up mediation, whether it is a thought, or a worry, people can remember to bring it up at the next mediation session. While a good mediator will be able to know all of the most important things that need to be discussed, that the clients who are coming to the meeting are prepared with what is important to them, so that they feel that they are being listened to and understood.
In the case where a couple does not believe that they can attend mediation together, because they are not able to be in the same room, or speak civilly to each other, and mediator can go between the parties in separate rooms to negotiate the terms. And while this is a much more time-consuming and difficult process, it is still a better option then people simply hiring lawyers and litigating the terms of their divorce.
Hiring a mediator can help ensure that people who are divorcing get all of their needs addressed, as well as help them feel that they are being listened to and understood. Being listened to can often be one of the most important things that a person needs, and can help ensure that the rest of the divorce goes smoothly, because both people understand what the other person wants, and it has been agreed upon in advance.
Early in her legal practice, influenced by her late uncle who was a Justice of the Court of Queen’s Bench, Marla Miller, K.C. became a Family Law Mediator. She has been helping families through mediation for over 30 years. In 2001 she, along with Pierre Boileau, K.C. and others, was one of the founding members of the Association of Collaborative Professionals (Edmonton). She has been an active volunteer with that Association ever since.
One of the first Family and Divorce Lawyers in Edmonton to make a commitment to give up litigation as an option, Marla remains passionate about helping her clients settle outside of court by finding agreements that meet their needs and interests. As both a Registered Collaborative Family Lawyer and a Registered Family Mediator, Marla is one of the most experienced family Mediators in Edmonton.