Even though most people are not looking forward to going through the divorce process, there are several things that they can do in order to ensure that the process is as fair and uneventful as possible. One of the most important things that people can do, is higher mediator even before they hire a lawyer. This can help both parties reach an agreement that is fair for both, and avoid the expense and emotional cost associated with hiring lawyers and litigating solution.
Most people are unaware that mediation is an option that is available to them. They believe that mediation is something that needs to be instigated by one of the lawyers, or both, or by a judge when communication breaks down. However, that communication does not need to be broken down before mediation can be used. In fact, mediation can be much more effective if people are engaging in it while they are still on good terms with each other.
The first thing that people need to understand, is although a mediator is a lawyer, they are hired to negotiate all legal issues, and are not there to help people get legal advice. In fact, that mediators are actually barred from giving advice. Therefore, people need to retain their own independent legal counsel in order to understand if the agreements that is being reached mediator is in their best interest, that they are fully aware of all of the other options they could have chosen instead, that they completely understand what was agreed to in the first place.
While many people believe that they can save time by ensuring their lawyer comes into mediation with them, this is not necessary, and can increase the cost. The majority of the time, a mediator will meet with the clients alone, but they can also accommodate a meeting with both lawyers if that is required.
The next thing that people need to understand, is they do not need to bring anything with them to the first mediation appointment. While many people believe that they need to bring a bunch of legal documentation, We recommend against this, because as each situation is unique, various legal documentation is not always helpful or required, and can end up frustrating clients who have wasted time looking for a variety of documents if they are not needed. Since the first appointment is usually figuring out what the situation is, at that appointment, the mediator can come up with a list of what is actually needed, and then who will be responsible for bringing it.
When people understand what is involved in the mediation process, they can ensure that they are feeling empowered to hire a mediator that can help them negotiate their divorce agreement, and save time and money by coming up with an agreement that both parties agree to, that they can avoid going to litigation.
Understanding The Mediation Process
The reason why a person would hire a mediator to negotiate terms of the divorce agreement is to avoid spending money on a lawyer, trying to put it through with their spouse. Mediation can be significantly beneficial, whether communication between both parties is affected or not. The mediator is a neutral, third-party person that is not representing either sides, but is being paid to be neutral, and help come up with a mutually beneficial agreement.
People can hire a mediator even before they have spoken to a lawyer, and that can be very beneficial to do so. By hiring a mediator first, they can set the groundwork for the agreement which can make hiring a lawyer much more simple. One of the first things that people should understand, is that when they contacted mediator, the next step is for the mediator to contact each of the parties and explain the process. This is going to ensure that both people know exactly what is going to be going on during the process, and what the goal of the meeting is. This can help avoid someone feeling blindsided, or misinterpreting the of the meeting.
In addition to explaining the reason for the meeting, mediators will also cover off the rules of conduct that everyone will be expected to engage in during the meeting. The rules of conduct will include things like no interrupting, no raising the voice are yelling at each other, and definitely no physical contact. By knowing that there are rules, as well as someone who is going to be there to hold them accountable can help stop any situations before they start.
One of the most important reasons for having a call to both of the parties prior to the mediation appointment, is so that if either party feels threatened or at risk, the mediator knows ahead of time, and can make arrangements to either have them come in and leave through separate entrances, or that they can come and go at different times. This will also ensure that they are never being left alone in the same room. This is extremely important, because often a marriage breakdown is because of violence.
At mediator will also be preparing both parties to come with a list of what is most important to them. This includes their core interests, their values and their fears. This should be separate from a list of things that they are hoping to get out of divorce such as assets or finances. But instead, the purpose of this list should be indicating what is truly most important to each party. They might have things such as wanting to stay living in the same house, being able to keep their children in the same school, being able to engage in the same activities that they enjoyed before the marital breakdown. I understanding what is truly important can help a mediator get to the heart of the issue much faster.
Early in her legal practice, influenced by her late uncle who was a Justice of the Court of Queen’s Bench, Marla Miller, K.C. became a Family Law Mediator. She has been helping families through mediation for over 30 years. In 2001 she, along with Pierre Boileau, K.C. and others, was one of the founding members of the Association of Collaborative Professionals (Edmonton). She has been an active volunteer with that Association ever since.
One of the first Family and Divorce Lawyers in Edmonton to make a commitment to give up litigation as an option, Marla remains passionate about helping her clients settle outside of court by finding agreements that meet their needs and interests. As both a Registered Collaborative Family Lawyer and a Registered Family Mediator, Marla is one of the most experienced family Mediators in Edmonton.