Your first meeting with a divorce lawyer is not about starting a fight or committing yourself to a particular legal process. It is an opportunity to replace fear and uncertainty with reliable information about your rights, responsibilities, finances, children, and options. The better informed you are at the beginning, the better prepared you will be to make thoughtful decisions throughout your divorce.
If you are thinking about separation or divorce, making that first call to a family lawyer can be surprisingly difficult.
You may think, “I’m not ready to get divorced yet,” or “I just need to figure a few things out first.”
That is exactly why an early consultation can be so valuable.
Meeting with a divorce lawyer does not mean you have decided to end your marriage. It certainly does not mean you are committing yourself to litigation. Your first consultation is an opportunity to get information so that you can understand what your options actually are.
Information Reduces Fear
A lot of the fear you experience at the beginning of a divorce comes from uncertainty. Can you afford to live on your own? What happens to the house? How will parenting work? Will you have to pay support? Are you entitled to receive support? What happens to your pension? If you do not have reliable answers, it is very easy to imagine the worst.
Your first consultation gives you an opportunity to replace some of those fears with facts. You can explain your circumstances, ask questions, and begin understanding how Alberta family law applies to your situation.
Information is power. The more you know, the less likely you are to make decisions based entirely on fear.
You Can Learn About Your Process Options
Another important part of your first consultation is learning that there is more than one way to get divorced.
You may be able to resolve your separation through:
- Negotiation directly between you and your spouse
- Mediation
- Collaborative Divorce
- Lawyer-assisted negotiation
- Litigation when necessary
The right process depends on your family, your relationship with your spouse, your finances, and your ability to communicate.
You should understand those choices before deciding how you want to proceed.
Sometimes people assume they need the toughest lawyer they can find because they need to “protect themselves.” What you really need is a lawyer who can explain your options and help you choose a process that fits your circumstances.
You Can Avoid Early Mistakes
Getting advice early can also help prevent you from making decisions that become difficult to undo.You may be thinking about moving out of the family home, changing a parenting arrangement, transferring money, or making an informal agreement with your spouse. Before you make a major decision, it helps to understand its possible consequences.
That does not mean your lawyer should make every decision for you. Quite the opposite. Good legal advice should give you enough information to make your own decisions confidently.
Be Honest About Your Situation
Your first consultation is also the time to put everything on the table. If there are financial problems, parenting concerns, substance abuse, an affair, or something else you find embarrassing, tell your lawyer. Your lawyer cannot properly advise you about something they do not know.
You may discover that the issue you were terrified to mention has very little legal significance. Or you may discover that it needs to be addressed immediately. Either way, you are better off knowing.
You Do Not Need to Have Everything Figured Out
Perhaps the most important thing to understand is that you do not need to arrive at your first consultation with a complete plan.
That is part of what the consultation is for. Bring your questions. Bring the financial information you have available. Explain what you know and what you do not know. You do not have to decide your entire future that day.
Your first consultation should simply help you leave with something you probably did not have when you walked in: a clearer picture of what comes next.
FAQs
No. You can meet with a lawyer simply to understand your rights and options. You decide whether and when you want to take the next step.
Bring a list of your questions and your best understanding of your financial situation. You do not need to have every document before scheduling a consultation.
Sometimes. Getting legal information beforehand can help you understand your options and prepare for that conversation. Your lawyer can also help you think about how to approach the discussion respectfully and safely.
Early in her legal practice, influenced by her late uncle who was a Justice of the Court of Queen’s Bench, Marla Miller, K.C. became a Family Law Mediator. She has been helping families through mediation for over 30 years. In 2001 she, along with Pierre Boileau, K.C. and others, was one of the founding members of the Association of Collaborative Professionals (Edmonton). She has been an active volunteer with that Association ever since.
One of the first Family and Divorce Lawyers in Edmonton to make a commitment to give up litigation as an option, Marla remains passionate about helping her clients settle outside of court by finding agreements that meet their needs and interests. As both a Registered Collaborative Family Lawyer and a Registered Family Mediator, Marla is one of the most experienced family Mediators in Edmonton.