Many people are nervous about Mediation because they don’t know what to expect. The good news is that Mediation is not court, and it is not about winning or losing. Instead, it is a structured conversation designed to help you and your spouse find solutions that work for your family and your future.
One of the most common questions I hear from clients is, “What actually happens during Mediation?”
Often, people imagine something similar to court, where arguments are made, evidence is presented, and someone decides who is right and who is wrong.
That is not Mediation.
Mediation is a problem-solving process. Its purpose is to help you and your spouse work through disagreements and reach agreements together.
The Mediator Is Neutral
The first thing to understand is that the mediator is not a judge.
The Mediator does not take sides. The Mediator does not make decisions for you. The Mediator does not determine who is right or wrong.
Instead, the Mediator helps guide discussions, identify issues, and explore possible solutions.
The goal is to help both of you move toward an agreement that you can voluntarily accept.
You Will Discuss the Important Issues
Every family is different, so every Mediation is different.
Depending on your circumstances, discussions may include:
- Parenting arrangements
- Child support
- Spousal support
- Division of property
- Debts and financial obligations
- Future communication and co-parenting concerns
Sometimes clients come to the Mediation believing they already have everything worked out. Often they have resolved many of the major issues but have overlooked important details. Part of the Mediator’s role is helping identify those gaps before they become future problems.
Mediation Creates a Safe Space
One of the biggest advantages of Mediation is that it encourages open and respectful discussion.
Unlike litigation, Mediation is not designed to create winners and losers. The focus is on understanding each person’s needs, concerns, and goals.
Many people enter Mediation operating from a position of fear. They worry about what their spouse might demand or what they might lose.
As the process unfolds, that fear often begins to decrease because the focus shifts from conflict to practical problem-solving.
You Stay in Control
Perhaps the greatest benefit of Mediation is that you remain in control of the outcome.
Nobody can force you to agree to something you do not accept.
Any agreement reached during Mediation happens because both parties are able to say “yes.” That means the solutions are often more practical, more flexible, and more sustainable than decisions imposed by a court.
In my experience, clients are generally far more satisfied with agreements they helped create than with decisions made by a judge.
What Happens After Mediation?
If you reach an agreement, we will incorporate the terms into a settlement document to be reviewed by each party’s lawyer. Once the agreement is signed by each party and their lawyer, the agreement is then a legally binding document.
If some issues remain unresolved, you may schedule additional Mediation sessions or explore other process options.
The important thing is that Mediation provides an opportunity to resolve disputes constructively before turning to litigation.
FAQs
Not always, but it is imperative that an agreement which deals with the division of family property be signed with your own lawyer who will provide you with independent legal advice and sign the Certificates required by law.
That is more common than you might think. Mediation is specifically designed to help people work through disagreements and find common ground.
It depends on the complexity of your issues and your willingness to negotiate. Some matters can be resolved in a single session, while others require several meetings.
Pierre Boileau
With over 35 years of practice Pierre Boileau, K.C. has gained experience as a Mediator, Collaborative Family Lawyer, Litigator and now as an Arbitrator. Pierre’s extensive experience has shown him that client satisfaction is maximized when clients have control over their own future. This can best be achieved through interest based negotiation. Only as a last resort, should litigation be considered. When necessary, Pierre relies upon his vast court experience and training.
Pierre remains committed to continuing to practice at a high level with particular care, interest,and sound judgment. He doesn’t shy away from particularly challenging cases. Pierre’s greatest reward comes from the satisfaction of assisting clients through one of the most challenging experiences of their lives.